As a Phillies fan, I am well aware of the magnitude of suck that Michael Martinez brings to a team. However, poor Pirates fans may have no clue what they're getting into. I'm here to make it blatantly clear just how awful Mini-Mart is.
Since 1901, 4439 batters (non-pitchers), have been to the plate 400+ times (Martinez currently at 407 plate apperances). He ranks 4427th with a .185 batting average and 4421st with a .492 OPS. How the hell does this man continue to hold a job? That is historically horrible.