Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Wild, And To The Left

The Republicans are going to have a field day with this one. Could you have possibly imagined a better throw for the president? Wild and to the left. Oh, the pundits will surely compare his 'wild pitching on the mound' to his 'wild pitching to the public.'

Can't you hear Limbaugh (all the way from Costa Rica)? "His policies are like his pitching! High, lofty, and to the left!!! He's a socialist pitcher too! Everything he does is too far to the left! Wake up America, he is flaunting his policies! And did you see, did you see America, that he was wearing his White Sox hat? That just goes to show you where his mind really is, serving those who pushed him into power, who paid for his campaign, back in Chicago."

Sarah Palin will get involved praising Zimmerman as the average middle-American hero who, like the rest of us, had to clean up after the president. She will then challenge the idea of having the president throw out the first pitch in the heart of the nation's capital because it shows just how out of touch the president is with real America. She will bolster this statement by pointing out the fact that Obama is so out of touch, he was wearing a White Sox hat with his Nationals jacket, and that a real pitcher would be wearing the proper uniform, like real working Americans.

Glenn Beck will note that the wild throw was a direct challenge to America, and that it is time for Americans, true Americans, the real Nationals, to pick the ball up and throw it for ourselves! He will then go on to find it fitting that Philadelphia- the home of America's freedom, the home of America's revolution, and the place where America's founding fathers, met to create this great nation- defeated the cesspool that is Washington, DC by a score of 11 to 1! Because 11 was the number of colonies that originally supported Independence (because North Carolina and Rhode Island originally did not). Then he'll cry a little, and make some statement about how baseball was not political when he was a child.