Tuesday, February 09, 2010

It's Lenny!

Yes, that's right! Lenny Dykstra, the beloved boorish outfielder of Phillies and Mets fame, has returned from the grave!

Only a few months ago, Dykstra was said to have been living out of his car, and a few weeks later, was caught on camera in a New York pawnshop, trying to hock his World Series ring. Then, he disappeared for a while, and we all thought that his estranged wife had done him in.

But now he is back! To try and make ends meet, Dykstra has been offering financial advice to potential investors for nominal fees, starting at $89 ("the single"), and going up to $899 ("the home run"). For these prices, investors get personal access of Dykstra's stock predictions.

Ok, fine. I'm all for people making an honest living, but would you honestly want to take stock tips from a guy whose gone bankrupt, been previously accused of fraud, has a reputiation for being an asshole, AND has been sued "at least 24" times?!

Yes, you read that right-Lenny has been sued at least 24 times! One lawsuit's bad enough, but 24?!

Alert brains will ask "what kind of lawsuits?" The weird kind that you read about in tabloids! I don't know all the details, but here's one example:

He’s even been sued by a die-hard Mets fan who was the best man at his wedding 20-some years ago, though that New York investor claims there is no bad blood.

Can you believe that? My question is..."Why sue somebody if you have no beef against them? Are you really that desperate for cash that you have to resort to suing old friends for money?"

Steroid-sized h/t to the fine folks at Crashburn Alley for resurrecting the strange, sad saga of Lenny Dykstra.


1 comment:

GM-Carson said...

Lenny may be a double-sized douche, but the man sure could work a mouthful of chaw.