It is that time of year again! Each January we make promises to ourselves and others resolving to be better people and to improve our situations in life. Then we proceed to abandon and eventually ignore each and every one of them. Baseball players are no different from the rest of us. Certainly, each year we see the foibles and follies of these athletes, and that got me wondering what some of last year's recalcitrant major leagers, hapless teams, and clueless umpires have on their lists this year.
1. Donate large portion of salary to Dale Murphy's "I Won't Cheat" foundation.
2. Contact Grady Sizemore regarding joint Jock mag spread.
1. Start shopping for a team who'll pay $45 million for just one season.
2. Start acting my age.
1. Limit home run celebrations to 10 minutes.
2. Call dad.
1. Just say NO!
2. Repeat winning Cy Young Award.
1. Drink less.
2. Beg Eiland and Girardi to make me a closer.
3. Visit mom.
4. Write a book outlining why I love New Yorkers.
1. Give the Mariners their money's worth.
2. Don't badmouth my new team.
3. Be nice to Ken Griffey Jr.
2. Market new fashion line incorporating over sized helmets.
3. Move to Vermont.
4. Marry Jose Reyes.
New York Mets
1. Construct cyborgs to replace team.
2. If that fails, wrap team in foam, bubble wrap, and body armor.
1. Finish season at least 4th in division
2. Find another manager
Tim McClelland, Phil Cuzzi, C.B. Bucknor, Chuck Meriweather, Angel Hernandez, and Bob Davidson