Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bag Tag

Major League Baseball's unsung heroes, the umpires, are probably the most unappreciated and abused professionals in all of the sporting world. They have a difficult job after all: stand and watch, or run and watch. This is a tiresome job, and sometimes these epitomes of efficiency make an error. Every time a call is blown the talking heads flap their gums and wax philosophical on the inclusion of full instant replay abilities for the sport. In order to preserve the sanctity of baseball, and keep it replay-free, I am working on a line of products to provide aid to umpires. Last week, I brought to our readers a handy device for helping umpires see the ball. Today, I offer the world of baseball the Bag Tag.

How It Works
The Bag Tag is a simple pressure-sensitive device that is planted under each base and transmits data every time it senses pressure on the bag. To protect the dignity of Major League umpires, the Bag Tag resembles a standard MP3 player. It is portable and fits easily in the pocket of a uniform. This device sends multi-sensory signals to the umpire every time a runner is on base. For example, if a runner is on first base, the Bag Tag will send a signal to the receiver located in the hand-held mechanism, causing the device to vibrate at a continuous pulse until the runner leaves the base. On the hand-held part itself, the first base indicator light will turn red, meaning that the base is occupied. To ensure the umpire is fully attentive, the umpire will also receive an auditory signal as well. Not only will the device be vibrating, and the base indicator tripped, the Bag Tag will also play 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' for as long as the runner's foot is touching the bag. Each base will play a specific song, and the vibrating function will pulse differently for each base a runner is on (one continuous pulse for first, two long pulses for second, three for third). When multiple runners are occupy two or three bases, a specific tone will be played for each combination of occupied bases. If a base has been tagged, the base will turn yellow. A simple peak at the display, and the umpire will never again be unsure as what call he should make!

This doesn't have to happen again!


GM-Carson said...

Like the Guinness commercials...BRILLIANT!

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tamtam said...

Burtie, you've got quite the imagination for ump error-reducing gadgets! You should try marketing them-MLB could make you quite wealthy! Plus, it would save us fans and the players alot of stress brought about by a bad call (is it just me or have the refs gotten considerably worse over the course of the season?).

PS- Carson, CONGRATS ON THE PHILLIES WINNING THE NLCS!!! Now, provided the Yankees beat the Angels tonight, looks like it will be another east-coast world series matchup like last year (to which I say "DAMMIT LA!! GROW A SET!!").

GM-Carson said...

I hope the Yanks are in the World Series, it'll make repeating that much more enjoyable.

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