Friday, August 14, 2009

Riddle Me This

See if you can identify the following people or items:

Q. I hit Youkilis with a pitch, then went down like a little bitch. Who am I?
A. Rick Porcello

Q: Some of my fellow Reds are pissed. I'm taking pills not on the list. "I take 10 to 12 things a day... I do what I want to do, and say what I want to say." Who am I?
A. Bronson Arroyo

Q. I usually hold a frothy brew, it was me that someone threw. I'm not usually used as ammunition, but I found myself in that position.
A. One count of battery and one count of illegal conduct within a sports facility

Q: I usually spend my day just hanging around. In dark moist places is where I'm found. I should be protected by and athletic cup, but because I am not, I'm all fouled up. What am I?
A. Adrian Beltre's swollen testicle

The Riddle Song as Performed in Animal House


GM-Carson said...

Damn, an inflamed ball for Beltre...ouch!

Burton said...

Yup, 15 days on the DL for a busted nut.

By the way, I don't think Porcello is a puss. It was just a funny-ass tackle. I almost posted a picture of those tackle dummies instead, but the look on an enraged Youkilis's face is priceless.

GM-Carson said...

Youk looks like that donkeyf*cker from Clerks 2.

Burton said...

He does look like the donkey f*cker. I think Porcello looks like Peter Petrelli from the show Heroes.

GM-Carson said...

Peter Petrelli is a badass on that show.

Scotty said...

Youkilis is a punk...He threw his helmet at Porcello...He outweighs the guy, has a full head of steam, is charging a rookie and throws his helmet...what a b*tch! Maybe next time he will throw his bat at the catcher and punch the umpire first.

GM-Carson said...

I'm sick and tired of the f'n Red Sox. They've gotten as bad as the Yankees, and that's saying something. Youkilis' move was total doucheness. He should get more than just a 5 game punishment.

Burton said...

Youkilis basically acted like a whiney assed little baby. The Tigers had been pegging batters all week, and nobody threw a helmet at anyone.

tamtam said...

i'd hate to be adrian beltre with his busted nut. i'm a woman, and i can imagine that pain!

i agree with you two, carson and burtie. the whole AL east is overrated and full of crap players. i just wish ESPN would pull their heads outta the yankees/red sox' asses and actually DO their job!

nice choice of a youtube clip-that was hilarious :D

Burton said...

Thanks Tam! That's probably one of my most favorite scenes from any movie...and it is called the Riddle Song!