Monday, July 13, 2009

Tough Acta Follow

Well, it is official. Last night under the cover of darkness, the powers that be fired Manny Acta as Nationals' manager. But who will Kasten and Lerner tap to fill his shoes? Here are a couple of people who may be able to help turn the bottom of the barrel Nationals into a top-notch professional baseball team.

Choice #1) R. Lee Ermey
If anyone can put the fear of God into a person, it would have to be Ermey. Never mind the fact that he has no experience in baseball, neither do the Nationals. What they need is motivation, and Ermey's in-your-face drill Sergent personality may be what the team needs to shake them out of their malaise. Ermey also has a working knowledge of a vast array of motivational tools at his disposal. From his years spent in the Marines, Ermey would know how to cajole and comfort a player who performs poorly.

Choice #2) Bill Murray
If Ermey's style of tough love is too much for the Nationals, then they could always go the other route and choose someone who knows how to motivate a bunch of ragtag misfits. Murray's sharp tongue and caustic wit might be enough to get the Nationals laughing at themselves, enabling them to relax a bit. The Nationals are already the clowns of the Majors, they may as well be funny.

Choice #3) The Terminator
Fear is a great motivator, and the Terminator would provide the level of terror needed to whip the chicken shit Nationals into chicken salad. Committing 82 errors would be a thing of the past, as poor performers would be immediately dropped. Lackluster batting and shoddy pitching would rapidly improve, or else. The Terminator could fill in during the interim, with the understanding that if performance slips again, he'd be back.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Awesome title

Burton said...

Thanks!

tamtam said...

what about the leadership of the sheriff from "super troopers"?

GM-Carson said...

Only steers and queers come from Texas son, and you sure as hell don't look like a steer.

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