Nowadays in Major League Baseball hits, runs, and rbi are handed out like standard red 16 oz. Dixie cups at a frat party (everyone gets one). However, sometimes there's the ugly fat girl with weird facial hair and a lisp that isn't even allowed to get her pudgy mitts on the sacred beverage holder. Through roughly 2 and a half weeks of baseball some batters are still in search of that illusive first hit, run, or rbi of the season and are left empty-handed like the fugly chick at the party. So this is for all the people that can't buy a hit, run, rbi, or lay...
(Stats as of 4/22)
Hitless (min. 10 ab): David Murphy/Texas Rangers 18 ab, Jason Smith/Houston Astros 17 ab, Greg Norton/Atlanta Braves 11 ab, and Matt Treanor/Detroit Tigers 11 ab.
Runless (min. 20 ab): Eric Chavez/Oakland Athletics 28 ab, Chris Snyder/Arizona Diamondbacks 23 ab, Dewayne Wise/Chicago White Sox 21 ab, and Travis Buck/Oakland Athletics 20 ab.
RBI-less (min. 20 ab): Brandon Moss/Pittsburgh Pirates 40 ab, Jose Bautista/Toronto Blue Jays 27 ab, Garrett Anderson/Atlanta Braves 25 ab, Gabe Kapler/Tampa Bay Rays 25 ab, Dewayne Wise/Chicago White Sox 21 ab, and Brent Lillibridge/Chicago White Sox 20 ab.
The Beatles- Can't Buy Me Love
4 The Non-illiterate:
*No Guts, No Glory has us wipe drool from our chin with a post on hottie Natalie Gulbis.
*Major League Jerk has a post on why Jews are apparently better at protesting than Catholics.
*Awful Announcing has more on ABC's announcement of "The Superstars".
*Rumors & Rants checks in on chunky San Francisco Giant Pablo Sandoval, who also happens to be my fantasy team's starting catcher.
*Zoner Sports is ready for Jose Contreras to be gone, and they have replacement in mind.
*Bootlegger Sports has the scoop of William "The Fridge" Perry on the fritz.
*Sharapova's Thigh has a pictorial of Jessica Alba and Autumn Reeser. Thanks alot fellas, like that will really help my priapism.
*Waiting For Next Year has news about the Cleveland Indians call-up of Tony Sipp (there's a missed opportunity for a literal photoshopped card).
*Diamond Hoggers has a picture of pussy at Wrigley Field...it's a cat you perverts!