In past installments (Parts 1, 2, and 3), More Hardball has looked at potential teams to add to the Major Leagues. So far, only the eastern half of the country has been explored, covering 16 of the 32 states that are not represented. Here, the west central United States will be examined.
West North Central
Iowa - Iowa Caucuses
Location of Field: Des Moines
Uniforms: White pants with a blue stripe, white jersey blue pinstripes
Reason for Name: Since the inception of the caucus, no presidential candidate that has finished worse than third has ever been elected president. So every four years, the nation gives a crap about what people in Iowa think. The other three years, who gives a rat's ass? (Just kidding Iowa.)
North Dakota - North Dakota White Buttes
Mascot: A Rock Climber
Location of Field: Fargo
Uniforms: Tight Three-Quarter gray pants, black stripe, short sleeved solid white shirt (not jersey), black harness, orange helmet (you know, stuff a rock climber would wear)
Reason for Name: First of all it looks like butts, although it is pronounced beyootes. Secondly, the White Buttes of North Dakota are a popular tourist attraction and rock climbing site.
South Dakota - Souix Falls Bisons
Mascot: A big friggin' bison
Location of Field: Souix Falls
Uniforms: Brown pants, brown jerseys with black pinstripes, black and brown hat
Reason for Name: French trappers and Native Americans (specifically the Lakota and Dakota) would hunt bison and trade with one another in the area surrounding Souix Falls. That and we need more big animals as mascots in the Major Leagues, as there are only two; the Cubs and the Tigers (and where the hell did that come from anyway? Are there that many tigers in the greater Detroit area?)
Nebraska - Nebraska Pioneers
Mascot: A Pioneer (no WAY!)
Location of Field: Omaha
Uniforms: Blue pants, yellow jersey, coonskin cap
Reason for Name: Nebraska was the start of the Oregon Trail. Also, the Transcontinental Railroad begins in this state. The only other option for a name was Cornhuskers, but that is currently in use by a very successful college football team.
West South Central
Arkansas - Arkansas Diamonds
Mascot - A Large stuffed diamond wearing a baseball glove and a hat (like Mr. Met, except diamond shaped).
Location of Field: Little Rock
Uniform: White pants, blue jersey with red detail, red cap
Reason for Name: Arkansas is the only state in the US where one can find diamonds. The diamond makes an appearance on Arkansas's flag and state quarter. Since there is a baseball diamond as well, it seemed an obvious choice.
Louisiana - Louisiana Mighty Shrimps
Mascot: A Baseball playing shrimp (or Forrest Gump's friend Bubba)
Location of Field: New Orleans
Uniforms: Who cares? It's New Orleans! They can wear what they want, walk around the French Quarter in their skivvies, whatever. As long as they wear Mardis Gras beads and a Solo Cup as a helmet they're following the dress code.
Reason for Name: One of Louisiana's major industries is shrimpin'. Shrimpin' and pimpin'!
Oklahoma - Oklahoma Whirlwinds
Mascot - A Tornado
Location of Field: Oklahoma City
Uniforms: Gray pants with black stripes, black jerseys, black hats
Reason for Name: Per square mile, Oklahoma has the most tornadoes than any other state in the country. Plus, it is a good dynamic name.
Bacardi & Cola - Mardi Gras - Watch today’s top amazing videos here
Best Commercial Ever! Bacardi and Cola at Mardi Gras!
**Don't forget to set your clocks ahead!