Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Julian Tavarez Wears Beer Goggles


Freshly inked Washington Nationals relief pitcher Julian Tavarez is rockin' the beer goggles. He's in love with his new team, but likely only in an alcohol induced state of consciousness.

He told the Washington Post, "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."


Wow, what to make of that? Essentially he's equating the Gnats to a fat ugly girl at a bar that only looks doable after a hard night of drinking and a lonely horny penis.

Julian Tavarez, you're my new hero!


Jennifer Lopez- I'm Glad (Paul Oakenfeld Perfecto Remix).

Damn, J-Lo is hot!!!

9 comments:

GM-Carson said...

Fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go round.

GM-Carson said...

Speaking of hotties, it looks like the Phillies, Cubs, Angels, and Red Sox are moving on in the Hottest Fans of MLB playoffs.

tamtam said...

julian, you sad lonely man. this is what you get for hitting the budweiser bottle all those years in st. louis

Burton said...

Jesus, I've never seen anyone that drunk! I don't thhink there is enough beer to make the Nationals look sexy...

IRONPIGPEN said...

I'm not necessarily known for political correctness, but this would have been too much for even me at my place so I thought I would come share with a crowd who I feel is known to appreciate good humor -

I really, really wanted to have my headline for South Korea's victory over Japan read as follows:

BONG SMOKES JAPAN

(as in Jung Keun, former Atlanta Brave)

J.K. Bong needs to get in the same league and pitch against B.J. Weed...

LynnieMac said...

Funny though Bong's name is, I giggle far more at the mention of Bum Ho Lee.

Burton said...

Nice one Iron!

GM-Carson said...

I'm still waiting on my BJ Weed autographed jersey.

Jennifer said...

I miss you on the Red Sox Julian, I am your biggest fan.