Thursday, March 26, 2009

Fun With White Sox

In continuing with depicting players as literal interpretation of their last names, I give you the 2008 Central Division Champions, the Chicago White Sox. Below are the noun names from U.S. Cellular Field.
The Urban Dictionary currently has 152 definitions for the word 'dank.' All of them relate to the most potent of weed; particularly sticky, hairy, and stinky weed. Oddly enough, sticky, hairy, and stinky also describes lefty pitcher John "Sticky Icky" Danks. Another pitcher, who has yet to see play as a White Sox is Jon "Zelda" Link. No princess chasing for this guy, his quest is to make it to the active roster.

Bartolo "Irritable" Colon looks like he's trying to push a watermelon out of his own colon every time he pitches. Granted he shares his last name with the man who parked three boats off the coast of Hispanola, Cristobol Colon, but c'mon! It's a friggin' colon!

Perhaps one of the most aptly named players is Josh "Wheaty" Fields, as he is an infielder. Outfielder Jermaine "Tie" Dye sports a jersey of many colors.

Another outfielder, DeWayne "Golden" Wise has started his second season with the White Sox. His teammates say that his personality can be a little spicy, but after spending time with Danks all day, they enjoy hanging around him (something about having the munchies).


Apparently there is a White Sox Song. Enjoy!

9 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I think the ChiSox should go with the Jermaine "Dye" jersey a few games next season.

LONG DRIVE: A PHILLIES BLOG said...

Just when I thought Jason bay or Felix Pie couldn't be beaten, you do this for Bartolo Colon. That is fucking amazing.

GM-Carson said...

I've heard rumors to Bartolo's being overly gassy...any truth to this?

Burton said...

I think it'll be an issue that will have to be explored deeply.

tamtam said...

I LOVE IT!!!!! XD

i might feature this entry on my own blog! my favorites are the ones with bartolo colon-ic, john danks the miracle man, and jd (jermaine dye). good job!

GM-Carson said...

Fuck beans! That was them wasn't it?!

Burton said...

tam, I wanted to make you proud ;)

tamtam said...

and you did :)

Nilfheim said...

That Link one still cracks me up.