Monday, February 16, 2009

Lame!

Last year, Tiger's catcher Brandon Inge overtaxed his already injured obliques by pushing down on an overstuffed pillow. This wasn't the first time a pillow has injured a player; in 2005 former Minnesota pitcher Terry Mulholland scratched his eye on a loose feather from a hotel pillow. As bizarre as these injuries seem, over the years, baseball players have incurred some of the lamest and strangest injuries that have caused them to miss a start, or place them on the DL. Below are some of my favorites (in no particular order):

1) Glenallen Hill (Blue jays, OF, 1990) - Experienced an arachnophobia nightmare, and fell off the couch trying to avoid being attacked...and fell onto his glass topped coffee table.
2) John Smoltz (Braves, Pitcher - although now with the Red Sox, Dammit!, 1990) - Scalded his chest while ironing a shirt. The thing is, he was wearing the shirt at the time.
3) David Cone (Yankees, Pitcher) - Missed the start of a game after having his ring finger bitten by his mother's Jack Russell terrier.
4) Giants Manager Roger Craig missed a game after cutting his hand on a bra strap.
5) Vince Coleman (Cardinals, LF) - Missed several games, including the 1985 World Series after his leg was run over by the automatic tarpaulin during some stretching exercises.
6) Kent Hrbek (Twins, 1B, 1990) - Missed ten games after wrestling a clubhouse attendant and spraining an ankle.
7) Mark Smith (Orioles) Injured his hand after sticking it in an air conditioner that was not working. Doh!
8) Ken Griffey Jr. suffered from a pinched testicle after his athletic cup got tangled in his pants. That makes me squirm in pain just thinking about it!
9) Rickey Henderson left an ice pack on his toes for too long, and consequently suffered from frostbite.

More Recently...
10) Clint Barmes (Colorado, Short Stop) - Suffered a broken collar bone while carrying deer meat up a flight of stairs. According to Sports Illustrated, this injury ultimately cost him his career.
11) Kevin Brown (Yankees, Pitcher) - Fractured the fifth and third metacarpal bones of his left hand after losing his temper and punching the wall of the clubhouse. Why was he pissed? Poor ickle baby was pulled from the start of a game.
12) Sammy Sosa (Cubs, DH) - Suffered back spasms after a particularly violent sneeze. Said Sosa, "It would be better if I would've hit off the wall or we had a fight with somebody. Some things in life, you cannot control."
13) Adam Eaton (Rangers, Pitcher) Was out for 3 days due to stabbing himself in the abdomen while opening a DVD with a kitchen knife.
14) Ryan Klesko (Padres, 1B) - In 2004, Klesko put himself on the DL for 15 days after suffering a right oblique strain after picking up a lunch tray. At least a pillow is heavier. Klesko also injured himself while standing for the National Anthem. How the hell did he play baseball. Folks, he is still a free agent! Anyone want him?
15) Joel Zumaya (Tigers, Pitcher) - Guitar Hero caused this rookie hurler to develop an inflammation in his wrist, and to miss a game. A 2007 surgery on his right middle finger caused him to miss three months. That is one helluva surgery...I wonder what song he was playing to sustain this injury?

And my personal favorite...
Clarence Blethen (Pitcher, Red Sox, 1923) - Left his false teeth in his back pocket during a game. Bad mistake! Especially when he slid into second, and bit himself in his ass.
Since we're on the subject of legendary baseball pain...

House of Pain - Legend

22 comments:

GM-Carson said...

I love Zumaya's Guitar Hero injury, shows he's still a kid at heart and reminds me of the days when I used to get blisters on my thumbs from playing Nintendo all day.

Melanie said...

But I bet those blisters wouldn't have kept you from doing your blog... although, I guess you couldn't hit the space bar whichwouldreallysuckass!

GM-Carson said...

I have long index fingers, I'd have managed. I blogged with my right arm in a full-arm cast for a month, I make due.

Anonymous said...

What about Mike Matheney (C, StL) who cut himself on a new hunting knife in September and missed the playoffs?

Burton said...

Oohhh..I missed that one! Thanks Anonymous!

GM-Carson said...

Sounds like a need for Round 2.

Mr. A-Hole said...

Couldn't have went with "Jump" by House of Pain instead?

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