Friday, January 23, 2009

What the hell is going on?

What the hell is going on? Around Major League Baseball that is...
*Motorcycle wrecking, porn-stache rocking, minority hating, gay marriage protesting, prick of a teammate Jeff Kent retired. He's one of the best offensive 2nd baseman of all-time, ranking up there with Sir-Spits-In-Umps-Face Roberto Alomar and Mr. Bean-Me-Please Craig Biggio from this generation of players. Therefore, the Hall-of-Fame will be awaiting his plaque in future years.

*The ambiguously big Mark McGwire had his reputation further tarnished by his brother. Jay McGwire wants to make millions off of Big Mac's plight, and is writing a book implicating his brother of drug use, starting back in 1994. This definitely puts many of those 583 homeruns under scrutiny.

*What will prove to be the hottest giveaway at the Brick Cit House this upcoming season is the Charlie Manuel bobblehead. It may look like a combination of Mickey Rooney and Charles Fuqua Manuel, but it's sure to be a highly sought after item nonetheless.

*Would you want to live to be 100? Well, a former teammate of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig did, but he finally succumbed to "old age" yesterday. His name was Bill Werber and he was the oldest living Major League player, but I suppose that distinction gets passed down now.

*The blogsphere is littered with stat projection systems, some computer based and others jackoff opinion based, but Walk Off Walk has devised their own system called BONILLA (Based On Nothing Interesting, Let's Look At Age). They take a look at players born in 1980. I'm not sure if this is in honor, mockery, or a combination of the two for former outfielder Bobby Bonilla.

*According to this photo evidence, A-Rod is a horny humping dog. I wonder what Madonna and Kabbalah would say about this.

*Apparently the BoSox came to terms, avoiding arbitration with Jonathan Papelbonds. So who did they sign, young stud closer Jonathan Papelbon or roided up freakazoid Barry Bonds? This goes to show even sports mega-outlet ESPN can make an error.

*Over at Hugging Harold Reynolds, they "hug it out" a lot, so I decided to hug back. You gotta click on the link and check out the hick-tard sporting a Gators muscle'n-tastic!

Bloodhound Gang- Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny


GM-Carson said...

Please take time to watch the Bloodhound Gang video and really listen to their lyrics. They're twisted lyrical geniuses.

Burton said...

Nah, this post is genius! Funny shit! I want the bobblehead though.

Mel said...

I want to know where to get the kickin' Gators shirt... its Sexy!!

GM-Carson said...

I think he bought it in Podunk Falls, Mississippi at the Gap.

Joe W. Linden said...

dude looks just like ed norton in that motocross pic.

GM-Carson said...

I'd love to say I hate Kent, but the fact is I don't. He spoke his mind, and I respect that.

Burton said...

Question: On the HHR site, is that a dude or a chick the hick-tard is with? either way it shouldn't be in Daisy Dukes.