Thursday, October 18, 2007

Next Cy Young

The monkey may be small, but he is mighty, much like pip-squeak Pedro Martinez. The monkey's "out pitch" is his breath-taking poop-flinger as it splats all over the batters leaving them with a crusty face.

Chewbacca is now officially the largest MLB player to ever take the field, measuring in at a whopping 8'5" and 427 pounds. His fastballs reaches 125 mph, but has little movement and his secondary pitches leave much to be desired.

Next Cy Young?
Monkey
Wookie
  
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~Carson

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

New York-less

It's October 9th and the playoffs are already without any New York teams...oh so sad, let me shed a tear. Oops, tear ducts have run dry, so screw that, and screw NY! I am so glad that the Mets didn't even make it into the postseason, because that meant my Phils were the NL East champs; and the fashion in which they missed out with that historical slip was hilarious. Now I'm even happier because the Indians just put the Yankees to sleep until Spring Training rolls around. I know everyone seems to hate New York, but my hatred is authentic. I can't explain why, but I take joy in the Mets and Yankees misery. See ya in Florida fellas.

~Carson