Who's this A-Rod fella?

I say I hate New York City and that I hate New York Yankee fans, but that's an overgeneralized statement that is more said in jest than in true hatred. However, I have no toleration for those retards that booed Alex Rodriguez last season and are now singing his praises. Yankee fans nearly ran A-Rod right out of town and directly into a mental ward with their Bronx jeers. Why boo? The man is one of the best players to ever put on a Yankees uniform or play Major League Baseball. What he is doing this season is absolutely amazing- 14 homeruns in 18 games...are you freakin' kiddin' me?! Other stats- 26 R, 30 H, 7 doubles, 34 RBI, and an astronomical 1.506 OPS. Wow, Yanks fans are right, he does suck...BOO!!!

First Round Blues

When playing fantasy baseball, your 1st round pick is always the most exciting. In my two leagues this year, I had the 1st overall pick and the 4th respectively. With the 1st overall pick I went with the no-brainer and chose the consistently awesome Albert Pujols. With my other team's 1st round pick I decided to go for speed and power and took Alfonso Soriano. My combined production from these crap-coops: 24 hits in 110 at bats, 8 doubles, 4 homeruns, 14 runs, 10 RBI, and 1 stolen base...ouch! I should have picked A-Rod instead, as he's out-producing most teams, let alone players (12 HR and 30 RBI). Or I could have went with sleeper picks Josh Hamilton (Rule 5 pick with 5 bombs) and Ian Kinsler (7 jacks) and still managed to out-do Soriano and Pujols...oh, I'm so smart.

~Carson

Now that's a pitcher!

Roy Halladay pitched 10 innings for the Toronto Blue Jays last night, as they beat the Detroit Tigers 2-1. Complete games are rare enough in today's game, let alone a guy pitching extra frames. Most overpriced starting pitchers go 6 innings and think they've done their job. Halladay is a stud, a beast, an old school kind of guy and wants to finish what he started...and I love that! It's probably not long before rotations go to 6 men because these modern day pussies, oops I mean pitchers, can't take the workload and organizations caudal them. As recently as the 1980's, teams were still using the 4-man rotation, with guys going 300 innings a season. The evolution of the game isn't always a positive thing in my opinion.

~Carson

He eats cat?

Like Rusty Kuntz, sometimes everything is in a name, hence Jon Coutlangus. Coutlangus is a left-handed rookie relief pitcher that was originally drafted as an outfielder for the Cincinnati Reds this season.

Scouting report- he does well in sticky situations, seems to thrive when the game conditions are wet/moist, and has a future as a closer because he "penetrates through the middle of the opposition", however umpires have suspected him of using a spitball. In case you can't pick out the punchline... Coutlangus=cunnilingus.

~Carson

Predictions

I've recently entered the business of fortune telling, and one of my first ventures is giving predictions for sporting events. Because I am trying to promote this money-making scheme, I will be enticing people with free predictions for the MLB season. Check back in October to see how well I've done.

AL East:
1. New York Yankees- I loathe them, but their offense is by far the best in the Majors.
2. Boston Red Sox- good lineup, solid rotation, just not enough to overtake their rival NYY.
3. Toronto Blue Jays- an improved squad, that would probably win any other division in the AL.
4. Baltimore Orioles- improved bullpen, and offense may surprise, but they can't keep up with the big dogs of the AL East.
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays- Tampa Bay has a baseball team?

AL Central:
1. Detroit Tigers- this club has a nice balance of young and old. Losing Kenny Rogers hurts, but the addition of Sheffield helps.
2. Cleveland Indians- their offense is awesome, their rotation is solid, their bullpen remains shaky.
3. Minnesota Twins- cream-of-the-crop bullpen, but besides Johan Santana the rotation is questionable, and the offense is good, but not that good.
4. Chicago White Sox- I look for a fall from grace this season and their rotation studs prove to be duds (Contreras, Buehrle, Garland, and Vazquez), and they trade Jermaine Dye by the end of July.
5. Kansas City Royals- this team is honestly heading in the right direction, but it's sadly in the most competitive division in all of MLB. They have promising young talent, mostly positional players.

AL West:
1. Oakland Athletics- all-around solid team in a weak division, and it's never smart to doubt the genius of Billy Beane.
2. Los Angeles/Anaheim/California Angels- the best bullpen in baseball, decent offense, and a possibly solid rotation that is currently band-aided together due to injuries.
3. Seattle Mairiners- Jose Vidro as your DH spells disaster.
4. Texas Rangers- I look for their pitching staff to be beat up all season long. Even Sammy Sosa can't save them.

NL East:
1. Philadelphia Phillies- this is their year, I have no real rational for this, just go with it.
2. New York Mets- their offense is nice, but their pitching staff is in shambles.
3. Atlanta Braves- it's always scary to underestimate the Braves, but I just don't foresee them doing enough with their offense to get it done.
4. Florida Marlins- great story with a bunch of rookies last year, but that means there's an awful lot of opportunity for sophomore slumps.
5. Washington Nationals- it wouldn't matter if they were the Montreal Expos or playing in Puerto Rico with this crap-heap of a roster.

NL Central:
1. Milwaukee Brewers- welcome to the crappiest division in baseball. It's really a toss-up as to who will be lucky enough to win it. The Brew Crew seems like the best team with a good offense and a quality rotation.
2. Chicago Cubs- tried to buy the NL Central, but will ultimately fall short.
3. Houston Astros- question marks in the rotation and that offense somehow manages not to score a ton of runs despite playing in a bandbox.
4. St. Louis Cardinals- another fall from grace story line here. Their rotation is a total mess, their offense besides Rolen and Pujols is very average.
5. Pittsburgh Pirates- could catapult higher in the division if X. Nady and LaRoche prove to be an offensive jolt and that rotation continues to mature.
6. Cincinnati Reds- someone needs to finish in last.

NL West:
1. San Diego Padres- they don't have a powerful offense, but it will supply enough runs for their terrific pitching staff.
2. Los Angeles Dodgers- nice starting rotation accompanied with a suitable offense. They would finish first if not for signing Mike Lieberthal.
3. San Francisco Giants- old, older, and oldest. Seriously, this club is way too brittle.
4. Arizona Diamondbacks- this depends a lot on which Randy Johnson shows up and whether or not if some youngins can live up to expectations.
5. Colorado Rockies- believe it or not their pitching isn't as bad as many think it is and their offense will always produce...but after all they are the Rockies.

AL Wildcard- BoSox
NL Wildcard- LAD
AL Pennant- A's
NL Pennant- Phils
World Series Champions- Phightins

~Carson