Friday, March 23, 2007

Rock the Vote!

Manager-1. a person who has control or direction of an institution, business, etc., or of a part, division, or phase of it. 2. a person who manages: the manager of our track team. 3. a person who controls and manipulates resources and expenditures, as of a household. (As per Dictionary.com)

No where in that definition do I read mention of being a dumbass. But a dumbass is exactly what some managers are. Take a glance at the list of low-level functioning r-tards that I've compiled for you to vote on for most deserving dumbass. Rock the Vote!

Who Wants to be a Dumbass?:

Charles Fuqua Manuel- as a Phillies fan I have firsthand opportunity to observe the ineptitude of this man on a game by game basis, and it isnt' pretty. He is a retarded bumbling hick from West Virginia and should go back to his cousin-lovin' and wood splitting before he ruins the Phillies chances of yet another playoff appearance. His bullpen mismanagement has been well documented and his speech impediment caused by being severely stupid has been made fun of more than a three-legged dog.

_________________________________

Tony LaRussa- D.U.I., and no this does not stand for Devout Upstanding Individual, more like Dumbass Under the Influence. Seriously, I'm all for drinking and getting smashed, but don't drive afterwards you freaking moron! Dude fell asleep at a stop sign with the car running and reeked of alcohol when the cops "pulled" him over. You are a World Series winning coach, get a clue!

_________________________________

Ozzie Guillen- he orders his pitchers to bean the opposition then publicly belittles them when they fail to do so, he trashes on fellow players of Latino heritage, he completely blasts has-beens at Reunion gatherings, and says something equally idiotic every day. Someone get this man a muzzle. Oh yeah, as evidence of this picture he's apparently a member of the rainbow brigade as well.


Which manager is the biggest dumbass?
Charlie Manuel
Tony LaRussa
Ozzie Guillen
  
pollcode.com free polls


~Carson

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Where the hell is Spring?!

That ass-hat of a groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, supposedly was brave back on February 2nd and didn't see his shadow meaning no more winter. Three snow storms later, I'm beginning to think that groundhog is fricken hoax and a fraud. On Tuesday and Wednesday it was 70 degrees here in Central PA, and I was thinking shorts. My daffodils were beginning to bloom in the garden and those damn annoying birds were starting to chirp. Then all of a sudden yesterday we got dumped on with 8+ inches of snow...Where the hell is Spring?!

Spring Training started nearly a month ago. I've been gearing up for the season by watching some baseball movies like Sandlot, For Love of the Game, Summer Catch, and Major League, plus I have more on the docket to view before opening day. In 2 weeks the MLB season starts. Rita's is giving away free Italian ice on the Wednesday to celebrate the first day of Spring. Yet, I look at my back yard and it's covered in white...Where the hell is Spring?!



~Carson

Friday, March 09, 2007

Watch Your Back!

By now you have heard, unless you live in your Grandma's basement, that Gary Matthews Jr. has been linked to a notorious steroid ring. He had packages of HGH shipped to his home...how freaking stupid! Gary received a huge pay-day from the Angels this offseason, 5 years 50 million, and I crowned him the poster boy for outlandish contracts. Not only is his contract now ridiculous, but it is completely undeserved as well. I know he's not the first MLB player to be connected with illegal/banned substances, and he certainly won't be the last, but nonetheless this news is discouraging. I want the game cleaned up. I'm tired of the media attention being on the MLB steroids scandal. What about the shitty NBA, or the testosterone driven NFL? Those stories get swept under the carpet, and MLB gets left with a black eye. And a black eye is exactly what the Sarge, Gary Matthews Sr., should leave on his son after he's done beating his ass!

~Carson

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Rage

Remember when Willie Mays-Hayes (Wesley Snipes) pulled up in his pimped out Volkswagen Bug wearing a cheesy 80's suit in the movie Major League? One of the best cinematic lines was delivered when one of the coaches said, "look at this f**kin' guy". That's how I feel about Roger Clemens. He's one of the greatest pitchers of all-time but he walks around like he owns the place and keeps doing this "will I or won't I" b.s. about retiring or continuing to play baseball...it's getting old! Hurry up and make up your mind already. By the way, if you do decide to return to MLB, play the entire season, as that's what everyone else does you prima-Donna.

~Carson