Wednesday, April 04, 2007


I've recently entered the business of fortune telling, and one of my first ventures is giving predictions for sporting events. Because I am trying to promote this money-making scheme, I will be enticing people with free predictions for the MLB season. Check back in October to see how well I've done.

AL East:
1. New York Yankees- I loathe them, but their offense is by far the best in the Majors.
2. Boston Red Sox- good lineup, solid rotation, just not enough to overtake their rival NYY.
3. Toronto Blue Jays- an improved squad, that would probably win any other division in the AL.
4. Baltimore Orioles- improved bullpen, and offense may surprise, but they can't keep up with the big dogs of the AL East.
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays- Tampa Bay has a baseball team?

AL Central:
1. Detroit Tigers- this club has a nice balance of young and old. Losing Kenny Rogers hurts, but the addition of Sheffield helps.
2. Cleveland Indians- their offense is awesome, their rotation is solid, their bullpen remains shaky.
3. Minnesota Twins- cream-of-the-crop bullpen, but besides Johan Santana the rotation is questionable, and the offense is good, but not that good.
4. Chicago White Sox- I look for a fall from grace this season and their rotation studs prove to be duds (Contreras, Buehrle, Garland, and Vazquez), and they trade Jermaine Dye by the end of July.
5. Kansas City Royals- this team is honestly heading in the right direction, but it's sadly in the most competitive division in all of MLB. They have promising young talent, mostly positional players.

AL West:
1. Oakland Athletics- all-around solid team in a weak division, and it's never smart to doubt the genius of Billy Beane.
2. Los Angeles/Anaheim/California Angels- the best bullpen in baseball, decent offense, and a possibly solid rotation that is currently band-aided together due to injuries.
3. Seattle Mairiners- Jose Vidro as your DH spells disaster.
4. Texas Rangers- I look for their pitching staff to be beat up all season long. Even Sammy Sosa can't save them.

NL East:
1. Philadelphia Phillies- this is their year, I have no real rational for this, just go with it.
2. New York Mets- their offense is nice, but their pitching staff is in shambles.
3. Atlanta Braves- it's always scary to underestimate the Braves, but I just don't foresee them doing enough with their offense to get it done.
4. Florida Marlins- great story with a bunch of rookies last year, but that means there's an awful lot of opportunity for sophomore slumps.
5. Washington Nationals- it wouldn't matter if they were the Montreal Expos or playing in Puerto Rico with this crap-heap of a roster.

NL Central:
1. Milwaukee Brewers- welcome to the crappiest division in baseball. It's really a toss-up as to who will be lucky enough to win it. The Brew Crew seems like the best team with a good offense and a quality rotation.
2. Chicago Cubs- tried to buy the NL Central, but will ultimately fall short.
3. Houston Astros- question marks in the rotation and that offense somehow manages not to score a ton of runs despite playing in a bandbox.
4. St. Louis Cardinals- another fall from grace story line here. Their rotation is a total mess, their offense besides Rolen and Pujols is very average.
5. Pittsburgh Pirates- could catapult higher in the division if X. Nady and LaRoche prove to be an offensive jolt and that rotation continues to mature.
6. Cincinnati Reds- someone needs to finish in last.

NL West:
1. San Diego Padres- they don't have a powerful offense, but it will supply enough runs for their terrific pitching staff.
2. Los Angeles Dodgers- nice starting rotation accompanied with a suitable offense. They would finish first if not for signing Mike Lieberthal.
3. San Francisco Giants- old, older, and oldest. Seriously, this club is way too brittle.
4. Arizona Diamondbacks- this depends a lot on which Randy Johnson shows up and whether or not if some youngins can live up to expectations.
5. Colorado Rockies- believe it or not their pitching isn't as bad as many think it is and their offense will always produce...but after all they are the Rockies.

AL Wildcard- BoSox
NL Wildcard- LAD
AL Pennant- A's
NL Pennant- Phils
World Series Champions- Phightins



BenJah said...

i like those predictions, except:

i think the AL central will go indians, twind, THEN tigers. and in the NL central i would switch the astros and reds

otherwise, fuck it! predictions suck....yet somehow i cant get enough of yours, oh oracle

BenJah said...

that would be twins, not twind

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- the Minnesota Twins will now fondly be referred to as the "Twind".

Predictions are fun, just don't take them too seriously. There are people that live by projections and shit like that...pointless!

Anonymous said...

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