Just too funny

Too bad my name isn't Corey, because my fellow blogger Corey and I could then be the new millennium's version of "The Coreys" from back in the 80's. What made me think to of this? Well, I read every box score every day and took notice to the Texas Rangers' pitching line for the day being Bryan Corey followed by Scott Feldman. Istantly I thought, holy $hit Corey Feldman. Those two were more of a dynamic duo than Batman & Robin...'cause Robin always seemed a bit light in the loafers to me.

~Carson

Why Steroids Are Good...

for Major League Baseball, that is.

Given all the negative aspects steroids bring to baseball, there is one thing they are doing that MLB has to like. That is, hiding what is truly the biggest problem in baseball, competitive balance.

A pole on espn.com today:

Which is the bigger problem for baseball?
HGH/steroids 75.6%
Competitive balance 24.4%

The difference between the top-salaried team and the 2nd lowest salaried team (I'm not counting Florida, because they have their own issues) is now $163 million. Only two teams in the bottown HALF of payroll are in first place (Arizona, Texas.) In the NL and AL East, standings are the exact order of payroll. I've already blogged on playoff teams and WS Champions and the relation to money.

Labor disputes and fan support are past, present and future issues because they concern money and competitive balance. But the steroid issue has trumped all of it. At least until the next lock-out or strike...

Corey

Where's the beef?

I'm a big dude now, 6'2.5" 230lb., and used to weigh 340 back in the day, so needless to say, I like big ol' lumbering baseball players. A leisurely stroll through the MLB rosters and ta-da, I've assembled quite the squad of plodding, cheese burger eating, beer swigging, softball-esque bodied players. There were plenty of hefty hackers and hurlers to choose from, so I based mine on weight per inch (I'm like Bill Nye "The Science Guy" up in here!). So, here goes...watch out buffets every where!

Texas Cattle Herd:
C- Toby Hall 6-3 240 (TB) and Sal Fasano 6-2 245 (Phi)
1B- Ryan Howard 6-4 252 (Phi)
2B- Juan Uribe 6-0 220 (ChiSox)
SS- Mike Morse 6-4 225 (Sea)
3B- Scott Rolen 6-4 240 (Stl)
OF- Willy Mo Pena 6-3 245 (Bos), Adam Dunn 6-6 275 (Cin), and Austin Kearns 6-3 245 (Cin)
DH- Frank Thomas 6-5 275 (Oak)
Bench- Dmitri Young 6-2 245 (Det), Prince Fielder 6-0 260 (Mil), and Joel Guzman 6-6 252 (LaD)
SP- CC Sabathia 6-7 290 (Cle), Bartolo Colon 5-11 250 (LaA), Brad Penny 6-4 260 (LaD), Aaron Harang 6-7 270 (Cin), and Daniel Cabrera 6-7 258 (Bal)
RP- Chris Britton 6-3 278 (Bal), Andrew Sisco 6-10 270 (KC), Jonathan Broxton 6-3 288 (LaD), Armando Benitez 6-4 260 (SF), and Bobby Jenks 6-3 280 (ChiSox)
Swingman- Boof Bonser 6-4 260 (Min)
CP- BJ Ryan 6-6 260 (Tor)
Manager- Tony Gwynn...he's so chubby!
Mascots- Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox

*If the Reds would have kept Pena, they could have had the biggest starting outfield ever!

~Carson

I can't stand Roger Clemens. He's a liar. He's a hyprocrite. He's an ass. I wish Mike Piazza would have had the stones to go to the mound and ram that broken piece of bat down Clemens' throat. I'm glad the US lost in the WBC, because womehow it had become the "Roger Clemens Show."

That being said, I have to give credit where credit is due. The man is a manipulating genius. At 43, Clemens thinks to himself: "I want to pitch, but only when I feel like it. I surely don't want to travel to games when I'm not going to pitch. I don't want to go to spring training. I don't even want to pitch in first two months. I only want to pitch in "crunch-time" and I want to make sure the team I'm pitching for has a change, because the Rocket doesn't pitch for a loser. And I want to be paid more than any other pitcher. But I don't want to look like an ass, so I'll rationalize my egotistical, self-serving demands by talking about my love for my family and how I'm doing it for them, and for you, but not for me. Yeah, I'm the Rocket, pitcher for the people!"

And you know what? Everyone buys it. Especially the managment for the Sox, Yanks, Rangers, and 'Stros. Clemens just got a (prorated) $22 million dollar deal from Houston. Have they noticed he has 4 complete games in the last 7 years (one was a rain shortened game?) Have they seen his postseason ERA in the last 3 years (it's not good...?) The answer is no, they were too busy competing for his services, to understand what they were competing for.

And of course, this is all about winning for Clemens. That is why he is joining a team that is 8th in the wild card race, instead of true contenders (Sox, Yanks.) Oh, but I forgot, this is all about family...or money?

He might be the poster-boy for the individual-over-team mentality of modern sports, but you have to give him credit for working the system into getting what possibly no player in any sport has before: complete control. He's the employee and the employer...with someone else footing the bill. Pure genius.

Corey

Break Out the Bubbly...

Forget Andre. Don't even touch the Korbel. Put down the Moet. Dom Perignon isn't even good enough. Nope, we need some Krug Clos du Mesnil 1995. Nothing but $900 a bottle champagne will do here, because Jason Kendall hit a home run !!!!!!!!

247 games ago, J-Ken smacked a dinger off Paul Byrd. Well Byrdman you're off the hook, because a mere 961 at-bats later, the big-bopper went yard off KC-great Joel Peralta.

During the 247 Kendall didn't hit a homer, he was paid about $17 million.Talk about getting the most for your dollar. Moneyball, baby!

I guess that whoopin' that John Lackey gave him was worth it.

Corey