Friday, October 13, 2006

How I Really Feel

It is my God given right as a baseball fan to absolutely despise the New York Yankees. And believe me, I exercise that right. Simply put, once a player is acquired by the Yankees I hate them. Used to like Damon, now I hate him. Used to like Sheffield, now I hate him. Randy Johnson, Bobby Abreu, Steve Sax, Chuck Knoblauch, Steve "Cocaine" Howe...hate, hate, hate, hate, and HATE!
Why do I hold so much contempt for the Yankees in my calloused heart? They are disgusting! Steinbrenner goes out and seems to get whatever he wants, and when he doesn't get the desired results he publicly sulks...grow up pussy! Or he threatens to fire a manager that has been nothing but supportive of the organization and put up with all the crap that goes along with being in the New York lime-light.
Another reason I hate the Yankees- they're metrosexual, or as I like to put it...gay. Nothing wrong with being a boy-butt-bumper, but don't put on a huge charade as a straight man, when we all know damn well you like it in the pooper Jeter! Really, look at the picture and tell me they don't enjoy a little "bat" in the "2-hole"? The reason A-Rod isn't a fan favorite, is because he's not a big enough flamer compared to the eternal torches of Giambi, Jeter, and Rivera...all H-Mo's!
I hate their loud mouth fans with their annoying New York accents. I hate the media constantly knob-jobbing every thing they do. I hate unknowledgeable people assuming that if a player is a Yankee then they must be the 2nd coming of Babe Ruth or Cy Young. I just hate them, and I'm allowed to, so let me go on doing so, that way everything seems right in the world to me.
~Carson

P.S. If you really were offended by my joking comments, rather than entertained...than

17 comments:

BloodStripes said...

Yankees suck alright!!! Suck each other! Right on DQ. No worries with this rant. Give it to 'em. Bunch of bum-jabbers.

BloodStripes said...

I really like the young guns of Detroit and was very pleased to see 'em smack the yanks. Especially after all the Jeter arse-licking. They are looking good for the AL pennant. I Hope they can win the world series.

Sal said...

Guys-

Sal is hurt. Really.

Fu...aww, Sal's heart ain't in it.

Sal

GM-Carson said...

Sal- I didn't want to say I hated you, so I left you outta this post.

BenJah said...

i think most people hate the yankees b/c they are ignorant about the "business" of baseball...i read your blogs daily, so i know that's not the case here, but still. like it or not, the yankees have made the entire american league better. having them do what they do is actually great for the game, and it's even fun watching them lose. i much prefer a team that spends all it's money (really, should georgy just pocket the difference??) than teams like the redsox, mets, dodgers and others who spend 100million and whine like they're too blue-collar and mid-market to compete w/ the yanks -- talk about faggy. and PS: arod is 100thousandbillion times more gay than jeter, w/ or w/o clemens 'bat' in the 2hole.

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- I was waiting for you to read this piece. I knew you would have an opinion on it and I'm glad you know most of what I was saying was just for fun. Truth be told, I do HATE the Yankees. But you're right, it's fun to hate them and watch them lose, and I'm glad they're part of baseball. Because without the Yankees MLB wouldn't be as awesome as it is.

~Carson

p.s. Jeter sucks the cream from the twinkie!

BenJah said...

making fun of who/what-ever is exactly why i read your blogs! it is fun to bash the spankees, but their not nearly as obnoxious as their townmates the mets.

truth is: if the phillies had the business wearwithall and accumen to aquire and spend resources the the yanks, well, that would be just fine w/ me.

BenJah said...

of course, the creme filling is the best part. if jeter is gay, he does a good job of covering it up: check out his chicks!!

http://homepage.mac.com/lspath/soxarchive/images/jessie.jpg

http://www.sportsgoons.com/Images/volume3/3_34/vanessa_minnillo_trl.gif

better yet, just search "vanessa minnillo"
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&q=vanessa+minnillo

GM-Carson said...

Queers always get the hot ones!

Eric said...

well if thats all it takes i might need to start acting a little more queer, because Jeter does pretty well for himself

BenJah said...

PS: i seem to recall stating that the mets wont make the series a while back......that's looking ok for me at the moment! what-say-you, oh oracle?

GM-Carson said...

Benjah- you're just itching for "Oracle" status aren't ya?

Since we're talking about being queer, I have a great commical song for you to download- I Wish I Were Queen so I could Get Chicks by the Bloodhound Gang...fricken hilarious!

BenJah said...

i've heard that song before and it really is great! as for being an oracle, shoot, i'll leave that to you.

BloodStripes said...

Man Vanessa the undresser is hot. Woooo!!! Me so gay for her she can bend me over and pound me anytime.

BloodStripes said...

I can't believe I just said that.

Yankees take it up the arse, doo daa, doo daa. Yankees take it up the arse, oh doo daa day!

GM-Carson said...

BloodStripes- you're starting to scare me brotha!

BloodStripes said...

LOL, anything for laugh.