Monday, August 28, 2006

Is this an anal circus?


As if you couldn't tell, I love baseball. I've been a fan since I can remember. I remember watching games on tv when I was an itty-bitty boy more so than kindergarten. Anyway, over the years I've always had disdain for certain players. For example, Mark Lemke used to piss me off to no end. Now, I've decided to take a trip around the Majors and give you my all Ass-Clown team of current players. Feel free to add your own Butt-Jester to the list or argue one that I've placed upon mine.

Ass-Clowns:
C- Brad Ausmus (Hou.) because I've never heard a crappy hitter hyped so much.
1B- Lyle Overbay (Tor.) because he's so damn goofy lookin'.
2B- Marcus Giles (Atl.) because he too looks of the retarded persuasion.
SS- Derek Jeter (NYY) because he's the reason I did this blog post!
3B- David Bell (Mil.) because he's queer. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but he masquerades as a heterosexual, and that bugs the piss out of me!
OF- J.D. Drew (LAD) because you should sign with the club that drafts you! I'd throw a damn battery at his head right now if I could. Kevin Mench (Mil.) because anybody that wears a size 8 hat has gotta be an ass-clown! Rondell White (Min.) because you're always hurt.
SP- Curt Schilling (Bos.) because he's a pompous, self-righteous P.O.S.! Cory Lidle (NYY) because you're the damn ice cream eater! Josh Beckett (Bos.) because I just never liked you, plain and simple!
Relief- Ryan Franklin (Cin.) because I had the unpleasant experience of suffering through him for half a season, to have him leave and bitch about his "situation". Try this situation on Ryan...you suck!
Manager- Tony LaRussa (Stl.) because (see comments above for Schilling).

~Carson

21 comments:

The Rev said...

No Barry Bonds?

GM-Carson said...

Whip me if you must, but I've like Bonds over the years. As more and more evidence has come forth, I have since remissed my high opinion. Barry Bonds now = Ass-Clown!

Eric said...

I've never understood the widespread hatred of Derek Jeter, all he ever does is play the game the right way at a very high level. The Yankees are easily hateable, I totally understand that, so I guess it's just because he's the face of the team, but I think all the people who hate him deep down would love to have him on their team

GM-Carson said...

Eric- I hope you read this response....I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE DEREK JETER ON MY TEAM! But he's not, he's a Yankee, and even the things he does normal get overhyped...so for now he remains the lead Ass-Clown. I know that is unfair, but such is life.

BloodStripes said...

Great night for ass-clowns. In the bottom of the 16th Ryan Franklin goes to the mound for Cincy replacing Bill Bray. He throws 1 pitch and Ramon Martinez hits the game winning home run. Reds extend the losing streak to 5 and the Phils draw level. Sweet!

GM-Carson said...

Ryan Franklin made me proud to have written this post. What an Ass-Clown!

BloodStripes said...

LOL.....he's doing a great job for the Phils now that he is'nt one.

:]

GM-Carson said...

Screw Tony LaRussa...Charlie Manuel is the leader of the Anal Circus of Ass-Clowns!

BenJah said...

jeter is cool. gayrod is the premier yankee assclown. i would have put javy "contract-year" lopez at catcher and raffy "i'm clean, oh wait" palmiero at 1B.

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