Sunday, June 04, 2006

Where's the beef?


I'm a big dude now, 6'2.5" 230lb., and used to weigh 340 back in the day, so needless to say, I like big ol' lumbering baseball players. A leisurely stroll through the MLB rosters and ta-da, I've assembled quite the squad of plodding, cheese burger eating, beer swigging, softball-esque bodied players. There were plenty of hefty hackers and hurlers to choose from, so I based mine on weight per inch (I'm like Bill Nye "The Science Guy" up in here!). So, here goes...watch out buffets every where!

Texas Cattle Herd:
C- Toby Hall 6-3 240 (TB) and Sal Fasano 6-2 245 (Phi)
1B- Ryan Howard 6-4 252 (Phi)
2B- Juan Uribe 6-0 220 (ChiSox)
SS- Mike Morse 6-4 225 (Sea)
3B- Scott Rolen 6-4 240 (Stl)
OF- Willy Mo Pena 6-3 245 (Bos), Adam Dunn 6-6 275 (Cin), and Austin Kearns 6-3 245 (Cin)
DH- Frank Thomas 6-5 275 (Oak)
Bench- Dmitri Young 6-2 245 (Det), Prince Fielder 6-0 260 (Mil), and Joel Guzman 6-6 252 (LaD)
SP- CC Sabathia 6-7 290 (Cle), Bartolo Colon 5-11 250 (LaA), Brad Penny 6-4 260 (LaD), Aaron Harang 6-7 270 (Cin), and Daniel Cabrera 6-7 258 (Bal)
RP- Chris Britton 6-3 278 (Bal), Andrew Sisco 6-10 270 (KC), Jonathan Broxton 6-3 288 (LaD), Armando Benitez 6-4 260 (SF), and Bobby Jenks 6-3 280 (ChiSox)
Swingman- Boof Bonser 6-4 260 (Min)
CP- BJ Ryan 6-6 260 (Tor)
Manager- Tony Gwynn...he's so chubby!
Mascots- Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox

*If the Reds would have kept Pena, they could have had the biggest starting outfield ever!

~Carson

14 comments:

GM-Carson said...

andy sisco is 6'10", that dude is thin! where is the love for priates reliever matt capps? listed at 6'2" 240, but is more like 260.

corey

GM-Carson said...

There is a "ton" of hefty guys, couldn't include them all. Although Capps fits the bill.

Carson

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The Hungary Traveler said...

Hey guys...Prince Fielder: 6'0" 260lbs.

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