Saturday Cardboard

Left- The mustache gets me laid, the glasses get me threesomes.
Right- My full name is Wilhelmus Abraham Remmerswaal, see why I go by Win?


Left- My friends call me Jim, but the ladies call me Jimbo.
Right- I could smuggle Mexican midgets under this hat.



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Shout Outs:
*Thunder Treats reports how you can get free liposuction at a minor league game.

*Rumors & Rants tells of the Indiana Pacers stocking their fridge with mayo and milk.

*Eye-Candy sideline reporter Erin Andrews took a ball off her face...a foul ball at that. Hope it didn't smell too bad! (Courtesy of Busted Coverage)

*People complain about MLB players' contracts, well Sharapova's Thigh has some ridiculously retarded NBA contracts.

*Remember figure skater Nicole Bobeck? Nah, me either, I'm not gay so I don't watch that shit. But Sportress of Blogitude does, and they have a picture of her gone ugly on meth.

*Hail Mary Jane has a collection of some strangely sexy Japanese game show moments.

*No Guts, No Glory has a piece on the World Anti-Doping Agency's plea for Major League Baseball to man up.

*UsTailgate's girl of the week is Kim kardashian and her bodacious booty.

*Go to Full of Sports for a great assortment of sports related posts from blogs around the World Wide Web.

*We Should Be GM's has a Tale of the Tape between the cities of Pittsburgh and Philly.

*Major League Jerk has a list of the top 50 movie trailers of all-time.

*Zoner Sports has video of an Asian dude doing Christopher Walken impersonation.

*Bootlegger Sports has story on loyalty of Philly fans.


Helmet- In the Meantime

Baseball's Fans

When fans boo a player's performance, it really does hurt their feelings. The following collection of quotes demonstrates the five stages of grief according to the Kubler-Ross model.
First, some thoughts on the fact that fans boo, that is just what they do.
-"I think the only sport where they don't boo is golf." ~Lou Pinella.
-"The Expos fans discovered 'boo' is pronounced the same in French as it is in English." ~Harry Caray

Denial
-"Those boos really motivate me to go out and make something happen." ~Barry Bonds

-"There are always about 20,000 Red Sox fans here when we play them. Maybe it was only the Sox fans who were booing." ~Mariano Rivera after blowing a save

Anger
-"Philadelphia fans would boo funerals, an Easter egg hunt, a parade of armless war vets, and the Liberty Bell." ~Bo Belinsky
-"The fans here are too stupid. You have to play perfect every game. You can't make an error. You can't go 0-for-4. Are we like machines?" ~Rey Ordonez
-"F*** those f***ing fans who come out here and say they're Cub fans that are supposed to be behind you, ripping every f***ing thing you do. I'll tell you one f***ing thing, I hope we get f***ing hotter than shit, just to stuff it up them 3,000 f***ing people that show up every f***ing day, because they're the real Chicago f***ing fans, they can kiss my f***ing ass right downtown and print it!" ~Lee Elia

Bargaining
-"They have a right to boo people because they've been waiting for 99 years (for a World Series) and sometimes we don't do a good job and they get frustrated, too." ~Carlos Zambrano
-"It's like going to a Broadway show, you pay for your tickets and you expect to be entertained. When you're not, you have a right to complain." ~Sparky Anderson
-"There's not a lot of teams that I've seen in a fight for the division, in control of a ballgame the whole time, never lose the lead, and still get booed. It's certainly a boost for us to play in front of a full ballpark. If they decided to root for us, that would be even better." ~Scott Linebrink

Depression
-“I don’t understand why the fans were booing at me. I can’t understand that. They showed me today they just care about them. That’s no fair. Because when you are struggling, that’s when you want to feel, the support of the fans.” ~Carlos Zambrano
-"You're trying your damnedest, you strike out, and they boo you. I act like it doesn't bother me, like I don't hear anything the fans say, but the truth is, I hear every word of it and it kills me." ~Mike Schmidt

Acceptance
-"Fans don't boo nobodies." ~Reggie Jackson
-"I actually welcome boos as part of the game. I love to see that from my opponent's fans. Last night, I think those fans didn't boo hard enough." ~Ichiro Suzuki
-"I've been treated there just like everywhere else: everyone boos me. I take that as a compliment." ~Albert Belle


Robot Chicken - Giraffe in Quicksand

Sinister Southpaws

Anywhere from 7% to 10% of the world's population is left handed. Being left-handed was once viewed as abnormal or 'sinister' (as opposed to being right or correct). This 25 man roster is comprised of the most feared lefties in the Hall of Fame; some batted left and threw left, some batted left and threw right.

Starting Lineup:
1. CF/Tris Speaker- .345/.428/.500 3514 h, 117 hr, 1529 rbi
2. RF/Tony Gwynn- .338/.388/.459 3141 h, 135 hr, 1138 rbi
3. 2B/Joe Morgan- .271/.392/.427 2517 h, 268 hr, 1133 rbi
4. 3B/Eddie Matthews- .271/.376/.509 2315 h, 512 hr, 1453 rbi
5. C/Yogi Berra- .285/.348/.482 2150 h, 358 hr, 1430 rbi
6. LF/Babe Ruth- .342/.474/.690 2873 h, 714 hr, 2217 rbi
7. 1B/Lou Gehrig- .340/.447/.632 2721 h, 493 hr, 1995 rbi
8. SS/Joseph Floyd "Arky" Vaughan- .318/.406/.453 2103 h, 96 hr, 926 rbi
9. DH/George Brett- .305/.369/.487 3154 h, 317 hr, 1595 rbi

Bench
C/Bill Dickey- .313/.382/.486 1969 h, 202 hr, 1209 rbi
OF/Paul Waner- .333/.404/.473 3152 h, 113 hr, 1309 rbi
INF/"Memphis Bill" Terry- 341/.393/.506 2193 h, 154 hr, 1078 rbi
Util/"Georgeous George" Sisler- .340/.379/.468 2812 h, 102 hr, 1175 rbi

Rotation:
1. Warren Spahn- 363-245, 5243.2 ip, 2583 k, 3.09 era, 1.195 whip
2. Steve Carlton- 329-244, 5271.1 ip, 4136 k, 3.22 era, 1.247 whip
3. Eddie Plank- 326-194, 4495.2 ip, 2246 k, 2.35 era, 1.119 whip
4. Robert Moses "Lefty" Grove- 300-141, 3940.2 ip, 2266 k, 3.06 era, 1.278 whip
5. Eppa Rixey- 266-251, 4494.2 ip, 1350 k, 3.15 era, 1.272 whip

Bullpen:
Carl Hubbell/Closer- 253-154, 3590.1 ip, 1677 k, 2.98 era, 1.166 whip
Herb Pennock- 240-162, 3571.2 ip, 1227 k, 3.60 era, 1.348 whip
"Prince Hal" Newhouser- 207-150, 2993 ip, 1796 k, 3.06 era, 1.311 whip
Rube Marquard- 201-177, 3306.2 ip, 1593 k, 3.08 era, 1.237 whip
Edwad Charles "Whitey" Ford- 236-106, 3170.1 ip, 1956 k, 2.75 era, 1.215 whip
Sandy Koufax- 165-87, 2324.1 ip, 2396 k, 2.76 era, 1.106 whip
Vernon Lewis "Lefty" Gomez- 189-102, 2503 ip, 1468 k, 3.34 era, 1.352 whip

Some Famous Lefties...

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit

Prospect Preview- Charles Furbush

I'm not a minor league scout, or even a talent evaluator for that matter, but when I see a name such as Charles Furbush, I'm sure to work a feature into the blog for him. Furbush is a classic name, ranks up there with Dick Pole and Rusty Kuntz. Furbush is currently toiling in the Detroit Tigers minor league system in Single-A Lakeland, but would be more advanced if not for an injury which wiped out his entire 2008 season. Mr. Bush-of-Fur has a 5-4 record through 14 games started in '09, logging 71.2 innings, with a 3.77 ERA and respectable 1.24 WHIP. The lefthanded 2007 4th round draft pick, is 11-5 with a 3.10 ERA and 1.16 WHIP over 2 minor league seasons. I'm sure he knows how to get out of a hairy situation, or take a close shave on a liner up the middle. Here's to hoping for continued health and progression, because I'd love to see Furbush on the back of a Tigers jersey someday.


Bush- Glycerine

Ridiculous Rockies

Years ago Topps Magazine ran an article depicting players as literal interpretations of their surnames. In keeping with that tradition, I have combed through the rosters of teams and found a startling number of players with potentially fun last names. Here are players from the Colorado Rockies.









For your listening pleasure, the song Hey! Baby! as sung by fans at Coors Field.

D. J. Otzi - Hey! Baby!

Half Season All-Star Rookie Squad

With American and National League All-Star rosters being announced yesterday, I thought it would be fun to create a roster of the rookie standouts from the 1st half of the season using all of Major League Baseball to form a lineup and pitching staff.

(Stats through 7/5/09, Min. 85 at bats)
Starting 9:
1B/Ramiro Pena (NYY)- .267/.657, 13 r, 5 dbl, 7 rbi, 3 sb.
2B/Chris Coughlan (FLA)- .257/.711, 29 r, 9 dbl, 2 hr, 13 rbi, 4 sb.
SS/Elvis Andrus (TEX)- .267/.701, 32 r, 4 dbl, 5 trpl, 3 hr, 15 rbi, 16 sb.
3B/Gordon Beckham (CHW)- .263/.744, 14 r, 5 dbl, 3 hr, 16 rbi.
OF/Colby Rasmus (STL)- .282/.810, 39 r, 18 dbl, 10 hr, 32 rbi.
OF/Nolan Reimold (BAL)- .270/.827, 21 r, 5 dbl, 9 hr, 20 rbi.
OF/Andrew McCutchen (PIT)- .300/.804, 20 r, 7 dbl, 5 trpl, 20 rbi, 6 sb.
C/Matt Wieters (BAL)- .277/.770, 10 r, 4 dbl, 3 hr, 9 rbi.
DH/Gerardo Parra (ARI)- .265/.717, 24 r, 7 dbl, 5 trpl, 3 hr, 25 rbi, 2 sb.

(Min. 18 innings pitched)
Pitching Staff:
SP/Ricky Romero (TOR)- 11 gs, 72.2 ip, 61 k, 6-3, 2.85 ERA, 1.24 WHIP.
SP/Brad Bergesen (BAL)- 14 gs, 91.2 ip, 46 k, 5-2, 3.53 ERA, 1.16 WHIP.
SP/Trevor Cahill (OAK)- 17 gs, 93 ip, 45 k, 5-7, 4.55 ERA, 1.44 WHIP.
SP/Kenshin Kawakami (ATL)- 15 gs, 82.2 ip, 66 k, 4-6, 4.46 ERA, 1.38 WHIP.
SP/Jordan Zimmermann (WAS)- 13 gs, 75.2 ip, 75 k, 3-3, 4.52 ERA, 1.30 WHIP.
RP/Andrew Bailey (OAK)- 37 gm, 48.2 ip, 57 k, 4-1, 9 sv, 2 hld, 2.03 ERA, 1.01 WHIP.
RP/Luke Gregerson (SDP)- 30 gm, 34.1 ip, 35 k, 0-3, 6 hld, 3.15 ERA, 1.43 WHIP.
RP/Greg Burke (SDP)- 23 gm, 22.2 ip, 21 k, 1-0, 6 hld, 3.57 ERA, 1.06 WHIP.
RP/Clay Zavada (ARI)- 21 gm, 19.1 ip, 21 k, 1-2, 3 hld, 1.86 ERA, 1.50 WHIP.
RP/Daniel Bard (BOS)- 17 gm, 20.1 ip, 21 k, 1 sv, 3.10 ERA, 1.28 WHIP.
P/Tommy Hanson (ATL)- 6 gs, 36 ip, 23 k, 4-0, 2.25 ERA, 1.25 WHIP.

Notes:
I needed to take some liberties with the offense, as there were no 1st basemen close to qualifying, so I plugged in the Yankees utility infielder (Pena). Chris Coughlan is a 2nd baseman by trade, so that is where he's starting despite seeing almost all of his MLB time in the outfield. Baltimore is well represented with 3 players. Rookie batters were slim pickings, while there were many pitchers to choose from. Andrew Bailey was actually named to the official AL All-Star roster. Tommy Hanson was included on the pitching staff because of his excellent performance thus far, but not as a starting pitcher due to lack of starts.


Rookie of the Year- Liars and Battlelines

Coolest Poster Ever!

Why the hell wasn't this on my bedroom wall as a kid?!


Teletubbies- Bringing Sexy Back